1. You are emotionally neglected in your childhood.

1. 你在童年時在情感上受到忽視。

Do you feel safer keeping your intense emotions to yourself?

當(dāng)把強烈情緒深藏心中，你是否更有安全感？

Childhood neglect can be traumatic and often develops into an avoidant attachment style.

兒時受到忽視可能留下創(chuàng)傷性影響，還有可能導(dǎo)致回避型依戀。

According to Healthline, some parents might discourage their child from outwardly expressing both positive and negative emotions.

據(jù)Healthline報道，一些父母可能不鼓勵他們的孩子對外表達自己的情緒，無論它是正面的還是負(fù)面的。

These parents may have ignored the needs of their child when they were emotionally vulnerable.

這些父母可能在孩子情感脆弱時忽略了他們的需求。

This is a sign of avoidant attachment because it conditions children to not only fend for themselves but also to hide their emotions and vulnerablities from others.

這是回避型依戀的一個標(biāo)志，因為它使孩子不僅要自己安慰自己，而且對外隱藏自己的情緒和脆弱。

2. You tend to suppress your emotions.

2. 你壓抑自己的情緒。

Were you taught to view emotional expressions as a weakness?

你是否曾被教導(dǎo)將情緒表達視作一個弱點？

Do you tend to bottle your emotions and internally punish yourself for being vulnerable?

你是否傾向于將你的情緒“封入瓶中”，并在內(nèi)心懲罰自己的脆弱？

People with avoidant attachment are uncomfortable disclosing their vulnerabilities and they may look down on people who are more emotionally vulnerable than themselves.

回避型依戀者不愿意展露自己的脆弱之處，他們可能會輕視那些在情感上比自己更易受傷害的人。

3. You have trouble with emotional intimacy.

3. 處理親密關(guān)系對你來說很難。

Do you have difficulty with emotional expression in relationships?

你在一段關(guān)系中很難去表達自己的情感嗎？

Do you keep conversations on a comfortable surface level or take extended periods of me-time?

你是否傾向于將溝通維系在表層的舒適，并延長獨處的時間？    

When you have an avoidant attachment style you shy away from emotional closeness, afraid to reveal too much about yourself. 

當(dāng)你有回避型依戀，你會回避情感上的親密，害怕暴露自己的太多信息。

You struggle with not wanting to need others for anything.

你竭力避免麻煩他人。

In relationships, this emotional distance can make other people confused, angry and they might even take it personally.

在人際關(guān)系中，這種情感上的距離會使其他人感到困惑、憤怒，他們甚至可能認(rèn)為導(dǎo)致問題的原因是他們自己。

But the truth is it's actually a defense mechanism for you.

但事實是這是你保護自己的一種機制。

4. You have extreme boundaries.

4. 你有“不可侵犯”的邊界。

This can go as far as restricting the amount of time you spend with others or refusing to share about certain parts of your life.

這可能限制你與他人相處的時間或使你拒絕分享你生活的某些部分。

We do want to emphasize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with boundaries.

我們想要強調(diào)的是，邊界本身是沒有任何問題的。

Having healthy boundaries is essential in maintaining healthy relationships.

擁有健康的邊界對于維持健康的人際關(guān)系至關(guān)重要。

However, people who have excessive boundaries may appear distant or closed off.

然而，有過強邊界感的人可能會顯得疏離或封閉。

5. You have shallow relationships.

5. 你有著“淺層”的人際關(guān)系。

You like to keep relationships at a shallow level whether it be romantic or platonic?

你是否喜歡把愛情和友誼都維持在一個較淺的層面上？

In a romantic relationship, you may refuse to meet your partner's family or avoid topics that would turn the relationship into a more serious one.

在戀愛關(guān)系中，你或許會抗拒會見伴侶的家人或是回避會使關(guān)系變得更加嚴(yán)肅的話題和情形。

In a platonic relationship, you may refuse to go into emotional depth about yourself or have long conversations or see others that often.

在一段友誼中，你可能會拒絕深入了解自己的情感，或進行長時間的交談，或經(jīng)常與他人見面。

6.  Strong independence.

6. 獨立性強。

Are you extrmely independent and self-focused? 

你是否非常獨立，以自我為中心？

Independence by itself, isn't a bad thing.

獨立本身不是什么壞事。

As children grow, they should be increasingly more comfortable with making decisions on their own.

隨著孩子的成長，他們應(yīng)該越來越習(xí)慣自己做決定。

However, when children are forced to become independent too early due to neglect, they may develop a strong need to always solve problems on thier own, rather than having developed a healthy level of self-sufficiency.

然而，當(dāng)兒童由于被忽視而過早地被迫獨立時，他們可能會發(fā)展出總是自己解決問題的強烈需求，而不是達到一種健康的自給自足的水平。

7. You have trust issues.

7. 你有信任問題。

Did you get the proper attention and care you deserved as a child?

你是否得到了作為一個孩子應(yīng)得的關(guān)注和關(guān)愛？

If not, it's logical that you'd have a hard time trusting others throughout your life.

如果不是的話，你這輩子都很難相信別人，這是合乎邏輯的。

Even in adulthood, you struggle to trust even in those closest to you and will try to distance yourself from wanting or receiving affection from others.

即使在成年后，你也很難相信那些你最親近的人，也會試圖讓自己遠離想要或接受別人的愛。

8. You're critical, of yourself and others.

8. 你對自己和他人都很挑剔。

When you have the avoidant attachment style, you may often find faults in those around you

當(dāng)你有回避型依戀時，你可能會經(jīng)常在你周圍的人身上找到缺點，

and this is more associated with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style.

這與嫌惡型回避型依戀更相關(guān)。

As a result, it's easier for you to identify faults within yourself and others compared to positive qualities.

因此，與積極的品質(zhì)相比，你更容易識別到自己和他人身上的缺陷。 

社會心理學(xué)家埃里希·弗羅姆在《愛的藝術(shù)》中曾表達過這樣的觀點：

那些害怕不被愛的人，潛意識里真正害怕的是去愛別人。因為去愛，意味著在不知道能否獲得回應(yīng)前，奉獻自己，希望我們的愛能激起愛人心中的愛。

愛是信心的行為，誰沒有信心誰便沒有愛。

希望看過這篇文章的所有U粉，都能對自己懷有信心、對愛懷有信心。

祝你們能打開真實的自己，勇敢去愛！