好朋友應該是在你情緒低落的時候給予你支持的人。你成功時,她為你歡呼。你們能夠共同迎接生活的挑戰(zhàn),一起回憶逝去的時光…… 你們會爭吵,有時甚至會冷戰(zhàn),但最終你們會和好,會珍惜彼此的陪伴。 但如果你的友誼總是出現(xiàn)各種“事故”呢?比如你覺得跟她在一起很難受,或總是找借口躲避碰面?如果是這種情況,很有可能你陷入了一段“有毒的”友誼。 下面是7個“有毒的”友誼的跡象,對比看看你的朋友中招了沒! Sign 1: It's Always About Her. 總是關于她。 “有毒”友誼的第一個跡象就是什么都是關于她:她總在說,你只有的聽的份兒。 Think about this scenario: she calls you to complain about her day, but as soon as you start to talk about what's going on in your own life, she suddenly has to go. Does that sound familiar? 想想這個畫面:她打電話給你抱怨她今天的遭遇,但是當你想跟她聊聊自己的一天時,她就突然有事要掛電話。是不是覺得這個畫面似曾相識呢? 一段友誼中,如果你總在扮演著聆聽者的角色,你可能最終會覺得沒法跟她聊自己生活中出現(xiàn)的問題。(不滿出現(xiàn)了) Sign 2: She Compares You To Her Other Friends. 她總拿那你跟她其他朋友做對比。 When you're hanging out, does she constantly talk about how her other friends would do things or how her other friends are better than you? 你們出去玩兒時,她是不是一直在說她別的朋友會怎么做事兒,或者她別的朋友怎么比你好? 要是她總這么拿你跟她別的朋友對比,最終你會覺得你達不到她的標準(you're not living up to her standards)。其實即使你為她改變,她也不會滿足的。 Sign 3: She's A Little Too 'Honest'. 她有點太“誠實”了。 She might try to pass it off as “honesty”, but what she's really doing is giving herself a pass for insulting you. 她可能說這是“實事求是”,但實際上這只是她侮辱你的理由。 當你的朋友告訴你她對你的穿著,長相或者你的伴侶的“真實看法”時(一般這種看法很負面),她告訴你她在“實事求是”。 Sign 4: Spending Time Together Stresses You Out. 在一起會讓你覺得非常緊張。 你們在一起時,你是不是總找借口離開?是不是總覺得很有壓力? Hanging out with her is a delicate art, and you have to walk on eggshells because you're never sure when she might snap and get mad at you. 跟她在一起你是不是總得小心翼翼,因為你不知道她何時會發(fā)飆。 如果你總是害怕跟她在一起,很有可能你們的友誼“有毒”。 Sign 5: She Ignores You For Long Stretches Of Time. 她總能忽略你很久。 你是不是覺得總是自己在給她打電話,約她出去?而她除非需要你,否則從不主動聯(lián)系你? If you're putting way more effort into the relationship, you're going to get burnt out pretty quickly. 如果你在這份友誼中花費太多精力,你很快就會精疲力竭的。 Friendships are no fun when they're one-sided — so if you always feel like your friend is ignoring you, it's not a successful relationship. 只有一方付出的友誼并不有趣,所以如果你總覺得你的朋友在忽略你,那么這段友誼是有問題的。 Sign 6: She's Constantly Jealous Of You. 她總是嫉妒你。 這是“有毒”友誼的另一個跡象。你的朋友有沒有把你的成功視為她自己的失??? It's difficult to deal with this, because you end up feeling like you can't tell her about the good things in your life, since she'll just compare herself to you and start pouting. 這很難解決,因為到最后你會覺得你不能跟她分享生活中的小確幸:她只會拿自己跟你做對比,然后開始生氣。 Sign 7: She's Full Of Negative Energy. 她充滿了負能量。 如果你有這樣一個“有毒的”朋友,你會發(fā)現(xiàn)她的世界里充滿了負能量。 She somehow manages to turn every positive into a negative, and is always cynical about her life, your life, and everything. 她總是有辦法把正能量變?yōu)樨撃芰浚€總對自己的生活,你的生活等一切的一切充滿了懷疑。 It might seem like no big deal, but her negative energy will start to rub off on you. 看起來可能沒什么,但是她的負能量最終將會影響到你。 Vocabulary: pass off :(順利)進行;舉行 [英式英語] burn out:(使)耗盡;(使)精疲力盡;心力交瘁;患精神煩躁癥: 例:If you often burn the midnight oil, you'll burn yourself out. 如果你經(jīng)常開夜車,會把身體搞垮的。 pout /pa?t/ v. 撅嘴 例:Like one of the kids, he whined and pouted when he did not get what he wanted. 他若沒有得到他想要的,就會像孩子一般又是哼唧又是撅嘴。 rub off on: 因接觸而對…產(chǎn)生影響,影響到;被轉(zhuǎn)移: 例:We encouraged our children to enjoy good music, hoping that its calming power would rub off onto them. 我們鼓勵孩子們聽好音樂,希望音樂中令人平靜的力量會對他們產(chǎn)生感染作用。 看了這七個特征,可能你對自己身邊的朋友已經(jīng)有了定論。如果她確實是無心,你可以跟她好好聊聊她身上存在的問題,尋求解決的辦法,但如果她就是這樣的人,也不想做出改變,小編覺得還是最好遠離她,還自己一片樂土。 |
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