6月，高考劇將要落下帷幕，畢業(yè)大戲又將悄悄上演。大學(xué)，曾是多少莘莘學(xué)子夢(mèng)中的樂(lè)園，又留給即將畢業(yè)的孩紙們多少一輩子的回憶。大學(xué)，此情可待成追憶，只是當(dāng)時(shí)已惘然……

1. College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?

大學(xué)是你一生中最美好的時(shí)光。什么時(shí)候你的父母還會(huì)一年花幾千塊供你去一個(gè)陌生的地方天天晚上喝醉。

1. Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates。

大學(xué)當(dāng)然是個(gè)有很多知識(shí)的地方：大一的帶進(jìn)來(lái)一些，大四的帶不走多少，知識(shí)便積累起來(lái)了。

3. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep。

教授就是別人都睡了他還在講話(huà)的人。

4. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools。

只要有考試，學(xué)校里就會(huì)有禱告者。

5. The things taught in colleges are not an education, but the means to an education。

大學(xué)里學(xué)得不是知識(shí)，而是學(xué)習(xí)知識(shí)的方法。

6. Never get married in college：it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake。

千萬(wàn)不要在大學(xué)結(jié)婚：一旦你未來(lái)的雇主發(fā)現(xiàn)你已經(jīng)犯下一個(gè)錯(cuò)誤，你就很難起步了。

7. Education is not preparation for life, education is life itself。

學(xué)習(xí)不是為生活做準(zhǔn)備，學(xué)習(xí)就是生活的全部。

8. The university brings out all abilities, including incapability。

大學(xué)能培養(yǎng)人的各種能力，包括無(wú)能。

9. The chief value in going to college is that it's the only way to learn it really doesn't matter。

上大學(xué)的主要價(jià)值是：只有上了才知道真的不值啊。

10. 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read。

期末考試中80%的內(nèi)容都來(lái)自你翹掉的那節(jié)課和你漏讀的那本書(shū)。

11. To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.'

那些取得好成績(jī)的同學(xué)，做的好！那些得C的同學(xué)，有一天你們會(huì)成為美國(guó)總統(tǒng)。